Everything and Nothing

OK - I have been absent I get it.  Maybe this blog is a metaphor for my life - which seriously has been all over the place since I started writing in 2012... crazy.... I think when I started way back when - I had different intentions.... I thought, I would start a blog and change the world one recipe or party at a time.... obviously ummm seeing as though I have taken ummmm a lot of time off (haha) I didn’t accomplish my goal!!

Well I changed my mind on my purpose here.  I am not writing this blog to change your life.... I am writing it to change mine... see here is the thing - I am a “share-er” I love to talk - I am not a gossip and I don’t talk about others but I talk about me ALL THE TIME - not in a “I am the greatest in all the land” type of way because lord knows I don’t always love myself, but more in a seeking advice way or trying to ensure I am not the only crazy lady on the planet and I am trying to find SOMEONE as crazy as me - I compare myself to everyone - which makes me share.... I am not content and I need reassurance....

Which is so not adult - and for real, I am a grown @55 adult!!!! 

Sooooo I changed my mind about my blog - I am going to just share.... here.... and if anyone is listening drop me a line just to entertain my need for approval - and maybe throughout this process I will discover something that makes me “content”....

So that’s it - this will be everything and nothing at the same time....maybe we can grow together

XO

E

Journey

I have gained more than 30 pounds since I have had my first child.... you read that right, 30 pounds.... not to mention I was too heavy to start.... OY.... I pride myself on being a strong woman!  I am successful in so many aspects of my life - but WHY WHY WHY can't I lose weight???  Sometimes I feel like I don't "look the part" that I try to play in life.... well here goes... I am going to lose weight.  30 pounds to be exact.... I will blog about my journey....

I get a lot of strange looks when I tell people that "you can have everything" I go on and on about how I don't make sacrifices at home or at the office and how I can balance everything - I am now beginning to realize that it's all a joke - because when I talk about having it all at home and at work - I am neglecting MYSELF - while attempting to "have it all" I somehow stopped taking care of me... BAM... until now... let's see if I can keep up my "balance"

So tomorrow morning I am going to take a couple "before" pictures that I will NOT post.... I have also made a couple other goals:

Log ALL food intake 

Prep healthy snacks & lunches for the week

Drink 4 bottles of water before dinner 

Feel good about my choices 

Do not "starve" 

Make good choices

Eat little processed sugar

I will post on here at the end of the night - what I ate and all that....

Here goes!!!

XO

Just WOW

I seriously cannot believe it's been 3 1/2 years since I have written a blog.  I really really loved blogging - it was sort of an outlet for me... So here I am 3 1/2 years later...

Well to catch you up on the most important event of 2013-2016 We had our little munchkin " Harper" 14 days late, about a year and a half later we had another little girl "Kara" and about a year and a half after that we had another girl "Rebecca" - yep.... I am no longer worried about what I bring in the hospital bag... By the time I had Bec - we were like "let's not bring any clothes so we don't have to do the extra laundry when we get home" thank goodness for comfy hospital gowns - and by baby 3 we left literally almost RIGHT after she was born - so we didn't need anything :) oh my, how things have changed...

I still work - which is hard however very rewarding.... I will probably mostly blog about that and balancing life :):)

I must get to bed!

Thanks for reading

XO

The Waiting Game

....Ain't nobody got time for that.... :)

Literally, 5 days until due date - OMG it's torturous to wait.... not to mention, she will probably come late :) Which I am continually trying to wrap my head around. The fact that I cannot plan anything with regard to this pregnancy. I like plans and I like knowing exactly how something will turn out... Its sick, how crazy I am about time and knowing everything... Since I have been pregnant I haven't known ANYTHING - everything is a surprise. Before I became pregnant, I would have told you exactly how it would all be.... and let me tell you EVERYTHING has been a surprise. A good friend of mine gave me some advice - she said, '...this is your first lesson in parenting, you need to let go and trust your child, trust your body and trust god'. I will admit, that since, I have 'let go' to the best of my ability, I have been able to discover some AMAZING (and not so amazing) things that I could not have told you 9 months ago would happen.

I didn't know:

- I would have CRAZY morning sickness that lasted ALL day
- I would have to stop running
- I would cry LESS than before (I have become somewhat less sensitive)
- I would want to have a natural no intervention labor and delivery
- How involved Kevin would be (he has been amazing)
- I would fall in love with Kevin ALL OVER AGAIN - for totally different reason's then before.... It's the most incredible feeling. You don't think its possible to love your husband more than you do.... and than YOU DO! :)
- I wouldn't feel quite like a MOM right away.... I honestly thought as soon as I found out I was pregnant I would go into mom-mode - but I didn't
- I would connect with the baby the most when she started moving
- Zoey would be so protective of me and the belly
- Zoey would recognize the word "sister" and kiss my belly
- We would meet people that would change our lives forever (our doula and our guru)

These are all things I didn't plan on, and things that I couldn't imagine life without - if that makes sense.... by not being in control of the situation, I found myself more happy then I ever could have imagined. To top it off we figured this out on our own :) This has been the most amazing experience for Kevin and I....

I am really going to try and let go, and relax these last couple days (or weeks I guess), especially so I am enjoying my time with Kevin while it's just us (and Zoey)

I have concluded that if Harper is early, she will be like mamma and if she is late (hehe) she will be like daddy... We shall see. Kevin thinks if she is late then she was probably doing her hair lol....

OO - we bought a new camera!! LOVE IT!! Check out the latest Zoey pic :) she's so stylish

XOXO

Engagement Pics (UMMM FINALLY)

SO  3 years later, I am posting engagement pictures.  It's Friday night, and I am relaxing with Kevin, thinking this is one of the last Friday nights EVER it will be just us, relaxing.  Now, I am not saying we won't relax with Harper, but it will be different for sure....  Anyways, I was going through pictures and realized that I never shared these with anyone at any time.  These were taken in October, 2010.

We became engaged Friday, September 3, 2010.  We had talked about it for a while (like forever) and decided together as a couple it was TIME.  On a whim, this particular night we just went out and got a ring :)  We make 100% of our decsions together, and this was no exception. :) It was really special, it was one of the most memorable days of my life :)

In October we decided to get pictures taken :)

This is at the GORGE METRO PARK, in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.  We would go there ALL the time and hike/hang out.  The Gorge - Website

Just putting this out there, although some may already know, my husband is a total ham - he takes great pictures and feels totally comfortable in front of a camera.... me however, I am sooooooooooo akward and really don't feel too comfortable getting my picture taken.... hahaha :) but I really do LOVE these pictures, because this was such a special time for us - I think the pictures really captured our excitment....

XOXO

37 Weeks, Nailed it!

OK so for all of those "BTDT" (been there done that) moms you can probably relate when I say that each week that goes by (mostly in the third tri) you feel "accomplished" or like you "survived".... I am at the point where its hard to move fast/sleep/drink water lol - pretty much anything :) and everything is "something" - I have been convinced I have been in labor at least 3 times this week.  Honestly, it's just a waiting game - she still has a couple weeks to cook and I just need to relax.... which I have been - honestly, I am much less of a spazz than I sound ;)

I do want to share a couple things my mid-wife, doula, and guru shared with me on how to prepare  for labor in the "final weeks"

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea & Evening Primrose Oil

Here is some good information about Red Raspberry Leaf Tea from a good blog RRLT, but basically it helps strengthen your uterus to make contractions more productive when the time (actually) comes.... My midwife suggested I drink three cups daily beginning at 37 weeks.  (It's delicious)

Here is some good information for evening primrose oil EPO, but basically it helps soften your cervix  to prepare for labor.  My midwife suggested I take two capsules a day beginning at 37 weeks.  I haven't had any negative side effects (like nausea) so it seems to be doing well....

Of course I am still taking my prenatal - and because I am a FTM I am really not sure how this will all affect my labor but I am trusting the support we have surrounded ourselves with and moving forward.

XXOO

FTM Guess at a Hospital Bag

In just an hour, we will be FULL TERM with Harper!!!  WOOOO HOOOO!!!  I feel great.... well as good as can be :) This is the BEST reason to feel completely uncomfortable :).

Today we bought a camera - YESS!!! FINALLY I will have some quality photos to post on here, to (duh) enhance my fantastic writing (LOL)....

Anyhow - as a FTM (first time mom), a lot of the decisions Kevin and I are making are based on one of several things; opinions of others, class, our doula, Pinterest, & Google.... SOOO combining ALL of the information on what to have at the hospital, we came up with what seemed "reasonable" to pack in our bag.... for whatever it's worth here goes:

MOM:
- 3 pairs of comfy socks
- 2 sporty nursing bras (nothing fancy or underwire)
- 3 pairs of underwear I don't mind ruining
- 3 cami tanks
- 1 cardigan
- 2 pairs of sweatpants I don't mind ruining

DAD:
- jeans
- 3 tees
- sleeping pants
- 3 pairs of socks
- 3 boxers

HARPER:
- 2 onesies
- 1 go-home outfit
- 1 pair of booties
- 1 hat

GROOMING:
- shampoo/conditioner
- soap
- tooth paste / brush
- hair care
- facial cleaner/moisturizer

MISC:
- IPAD / charger
- Phones/Chargers
- Camera/Battery

At some point in the near future, I will come back and  refine this list so I feel comfortable with other FTM's taking my advice :)

XOXO